(The article followed is adopted from the Internet)
充滿"智慧"的"論文"Romance, friendships and associations" 浪漫, 友誼和其他的相關
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS 浪漫的算術
聰明的男人+聰明的女人 = 浪漫 Smart man + smart woman = romance
聰明的男人+笨女人 = 外遇 Smart man + dumb woman = affair
笨男人+聰明的女人 = 婚姻 Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
笨男人+笨女人 = 懷孕 Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC辦公室的數學
聰明的老闆+聰明的員工 = 利潤 Smart boss + smart employee = profit
聰明的老闆+笨員工 = 生產 Smart boss + dumb employee = production
笨老闆+聰明的員工 = 晉升 Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
笨老闆+笨員工 = 加班 Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH 購物的算法
男人願意花兩塊錢去買他需要的, 但只值一塊錢的東西
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
女人會用一塊錢去買價值兩塊錢但她不需要的東西
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS一般的等式和統計
女人在得到丈夫以前會一直擔心未來
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
男人在得到太座以後會開始擔心未來
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
一個成功的男人會賺的比他老婆花的多
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
一個成功的女人會找到這樣的男人
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS幸福
要一個男人幸福, 你必須非常了解他, 但是不要愛他太多
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
要一個女人幸福, 你必須非常愛她, 但是完全不要去了解她
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand
her at all.
LONGEVITY長壽
已婚男人的壽命比單身漢長, 但是已婚男人比較會想死.
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE改變的傾向
女人結了婚會期望男人改變, 但是男人永遠不會變.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
男人結了婚會期望女人永遠不會變, 但是女人一定會變.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE討論的技術
吵架的時候, 最後的話一定得給女人說
A woman has the last word in any argument.
在這個話之後, 任何男人說的話將會是一個新的爭吵的開始
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
如何讓要你結婚的人閉嘴
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
我的老姨嬸們常常在其他人婚禮的時候, 戳著我的肋部, 嘮嘮叨叨對我說,”下一個換 你了!”
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."!
但是後來她們都閉嘴了, 因為在其他人的葬禮上我對她們也說了一樣的話!
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
你可以把以上的東西和以下的人分享 :
一個聰明的想要開心的女人, 或是一個聰明的但是你想掌握的男人.
YOU MAY SHARE THIS WITH A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH,
AND THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT.
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